I love this picture. This picture was taken 10 years ago in the West Village in NYC right in front of my apartment that I loved so much. I was about to leave my haven and embark on a journey to Los Angeles to further my acting career. Little did I know then what I know now. That LA, the landscape, the people, the community would change me as never before. Little did I know that I would alter everything from a career path to a belief system to falling in love and evolving into what is me now.
This face makes my heart burst. I can see the vulnerability, the uncertainty, and the sadness of saying good bye to NYC. I’d love to go back in time and grab me and say, “Get excited my love!! Your whole world is about to IGNITE! Look how happy I am! I am your 44 year old self! Look what will happen in 10 years! It’s going to be amazing!” I would’ve hugged me so tight!
In the present moment, I hug myself tightly and say the exact same thing. I’m in an interesting place in my life. I’m in the middle of a mid-life ‘break through’ when everything is falling apart around my feet so that the ‘magic’ can happen. And I know like I know….this IS where the magic happens. Anything is possible and my small self feels uncertain, vulnerable, and scared.
In this present moment I await my 54 year old self…. I wonder what she looks like and what she would say looking at me now. As I close my eyes, I can already see the humor in her eyes as she smiles and says, “Look how happy I am! Amazing things are about to happen! Get excited my love! It’s going to be amazing!”