I just had a fabulous conversation this morning with my friend Ben about what it means to be ‘seen’. Authentic. Raw. Emotionally naked. In a nut shell, allowing someone to see your ‘shit’. The parts of us we think are ridiculous, dorky, uncool, moody, and yes, our emotional wounds. Scars. The things we cover, the masks, costumes etc. we use to pretend we are perfect or close to it. It can be scary allowing yourself to be vulnerable with someone and revealing your perceived imperfections hidden from the world.
How powerful that intimate experience can be when we allow someone to lay witness to these dark hidden caverns within. Whether they are accepting of you or not isn’t the point. It’s the courage one takes to reveal these parts within! These unseen gifts!
I believe on a primal level that everyone has the need to be seen, heard, and understood. Validation that we aren’t flawed. This is intimacy. In to Me See! This is love! And wow! How good does it feel to have someone fully be present and be with you in such a way with no judgement? Pure acceptance! How do you feel when you gift someone else the same experience?!! To look deep in another person’s eyes and see their perceived flaws and faults and say, “I accept you any way. Just as you are.”
Ben and I both agreed that the first step is self-validation. Begin with you! Loving yourself fully. Finding compassion for your mistakes, your perceived imperfections, your fears etc. Love yourself and you teach others how to love you by your example. The more love you have within – you can’t help but begin to love and have compassion for others in the same manner.
I happen to think that love is contagious. Seeing someone else giving a gesture of love encourages me to give love. And when love is within it is without! Your environment and everyone in it will change. You’ll see love everywhere! Love chasing you down the street! Love! Can’t stop! Won’t stop!